hopeful beirut

Privacy

I open my car
enter
turn it on
and start driving
to work

But today
I'm tired
and sick

Today,
I need to be alone
I need to cry
I need to sleep
and I want no witness to my pathetic self

So I look for a quiet place
park the car
lower the car seat
and lean back

I see a blue sky
and a tree swaying with the wind

I turn up the music
and close my eyes
and sink...

Deep into oblivion
into privacy
into me


I'm cold
then hot

Scared
and lost

I open my eyes
and look around
and see the blue sky
and the tree
and remember where I am

Thinking of where I want to be
of who I want to be
of what I want to accomplish
of what I can actually do now

I close my eyes
and sneeze
and cough
and blow my nose
again and again

My body revolts
and matches my feverish mind

My heart is worn out
battling the way
into the future

I close my eyes:
I want to forget
I want to dream

I want to awaken
to another reality

I'm parched

I close my eyes
Let the sounds seep in

I take a deep breath:
exhale
inhale
then exhale

Finding a rhythm
searching for a balance
searching for peace...

Time seems frozen
but time has passed by
time for work

And I sit up
adjust the car seat

One last look
at the blue sky
and the tree

and I turn on the car
and resume my journey

Slowly
Silently
Sadly

posted by hopeful beirut @ 11:28