The Uncertain Years

I feel the dawning of The Uncertain Years,
The blank page syndrome...

So much freedom yet so little action...
Torn in many directions, yearning for more.
Longing for stability, strong to the core.
Traveling many a country, none to call my home.
Citizen of the world, loyal to my soul.
Rambling out aloud, trying to make sense,
To find a direction, in this whole mess.

Enthusiastic, always.
Courageous, even more.
But looking through the mist,
I know not where to go.

Echos

Lebanon is calling and our heart is torn...
We are citizens of the world,
Wanderers...

Our compass has no north,
so we carry in our hearts
that fresh breeze,
the majestic trees,
and those family bonds...

To keep us company in the lands which we pass through
Constantly looking for our home...

Even in Barcelona, Beirut is ever present

Thoughts

My love,
the thoughts of you
fill the spaces
in my heart,
leaving no room
for sadness or tears.

Mabrouk la Libnan!

Mabrouk la Libnan!
Congratulations for Lebanon...

This day will forever be engraved in our hearts... Lebanese from all around the world and especially the lucky Lebanese to be ¨home¨ in Lebanon... are rejoicing... celebrating... our will to live, to love, and to have hope.

From Barcelona, to Cornet Chehwan, to Paris... anywhere and everywhere in the world, we have been smiling... because we knew Peace would overcome... we knew that despite all disagreements, we would find a way to connect...

I feel a tingling in the air... and the fresh smell of Barcelona after this rainy day washes away my tears and reminds me that cleansing is good for the soul... and that summer is coming, and im looking forward to coming home soon...

Surreal

The surreal feeling will accompany you always and everywhere ...
You will wake up in a bed...thousands of kilometers away to find your heart back home. Insomnia and anxiety... constant monitoring of internet press releases.. are my personal manifestations of 'war mode', or better yet: 'survival mode' and yours too will resurface again ...

No matter where you, despite of where you are... because a country is so much more than a piece of land: its a sanctuary of memories with lovedones... testimony to good times and bad...

This has been surreal and more than ever I wonder about long term commitments: why do we spend so much time planning an uncertain and turbulent futurewhich at any moment can become the past? why when all leaders around us are displaying adolescent temper tantrums... playing a game of 'truth or dare' do we display a maturity beyond our years and a calmness in facing all this madness?

I think we build and believe in the future possiblity of our dreams becoming reality, because deep inside we have not lost faith in humanity and no matter how many times we are deceived by the unfortunate turn of events...

We add a step to that ladder leading to our hopes... sometimes it will break under our weight, sometimes it looks scarred but holds strong... in the end, it reminds us that we have something to hold on to, something to live for... because we all need something to believe in...

from afar

bitter tears are streaming down faces...
acidic after-taste of gun powder and smoke...
and the sound of violence ripping through the space:
of a divided country, conquered street, forgotton home.

those within are surviving, those without are praying...
those afar are helpless...and those too close are remote...

and the speeches have left no companions,
but those in arms, ready to fight
and while brother buries brother, another day begins
without promise, without sun
the open battles rage, and the children grow up too soon

from afar my heart is bleeding
from afar memories are fleeting back
from afar i am with you
always with you

and i am engulfed by helplessness...
and i am worried
and i cannot but think of loved ones all over lebanon...
in conflict zones.. and silent zones

all scarred
all fearful
all waiting, hoping for a better tomorrow

it feels surreal..
i want to go back,
to be with you,
to be by your side

it is raining here and there
the pain is everywhere

as i watch the muddy waters stream past
i want them to wash away all this suffering
but i am no longer so naive
and im no longer making sense
and everything is put into perspective
future and past
present
now
here
there

with you
for you

take care
stay safe
stay humane

remember that somewhere in this world
you matter to someone
you matter to me

and i will not let you
forget your humanity

and i will be there
to hold you close

and i will whisper dreams

and we will be strong

and we will stay together
through it all

we shall overcome

and the scariest thing has come to pass...
im stuck in another country far away from my loved ones...
who are stuck in a lose-lose situation...´
in my homeland, in my home.

and the song plays again in my head:
we shall overcome someday:

we shall overcome hate and prejudice
we shall overcome selfishness and division
someday...

deep in my heart
i do believe
that we shall overcome someday

ramblings of a confused soul

The cold breeze

slips through the cracks

to put out the fire.

The flames flicker

and the shadows

dance.

Loneliness strikes
in a crowded room

choaking me
with sadness

clouding my
Eyes with
memories

Consuming me
with
SILENCE

where laughter
used to be.

WORDS
are scars
of Memories...
left wandering
on the pages
of our
existence...

Testimony to
our Hopes
and Disappointments...

Persevering
through
TIME.