Monday, May 21, 2007


Hope? Only children dream of hope, and I am a child no more. I was wondering why it is May and still winter lingers, cloaking us in its foggy apparel, trying to shield us from the violence and the terror, trying to give us the security of the womb which we left so long ago.

This is madness, and it is slowly seeping into our veins, draining our energy, straining our love...

I vowed, I would not post about another bomb, another threat, another scary situation. But I can't. If I don't tell someone, this frustration, this "impuissance" will build up and choke me. I can't bear to hear the news flash and the whining sound of sirens... Can't bear to wait for mobile lines to connect to a loved one. Can't stand the uncertainty of the present and the future, knowing only I don't want a repeat of the past... I am worried, this constant flow of negative energy and horrible actions are taking their toll... I turn to the virtual for solace, to provide comfort and to reach out to others, to comfort, so I forget my fear.

This is becoming a land of fear, thirsty for blood, fueled by greed. My soul is barren... tears have left an acidic after-taste and forever tainted the hope that had been trying to grow.

I want to cry some more, but im afraid if I start, I won't be able to stop. In fact, I want to weep, to scream, to moan... this is madness...


At Tuesday, May 22, 2007 , Blogger margaret said...

It sure is madness. I wish I could reassure you in some way, but I can't. I am far away in my safety zone physically; but mentally and emotionally, I am everpresent.

At Tuesday, May 22, 2007 , Blogger jarvenpa said...

Yes, I too, so far away, wish I could send you safety and care. With the news today I immediately came to check on you, praying that you were well, feeling your despair.


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