24*
I will be turning 24 on the 24th of march this year... I don't know why this realization is filling me with the urge and need to feel, to touch, to experience, to achieve, to rebel, to dream, to do something extraordinary, to mark this year, to make it stand out and to set it apart... but it is... it is a milestone calling me to accomplish something, to start with a new part of my life, to continue, to pursue, to bring closure, to put my opinions first, to establish myself as an adult, an independent being, a unique soul... I feel like I owe it to myself... If I don't take risks and enjoy and experiment at 24, will I ever?
Here goes the wish list I want to achieve:
get a cat tattoo
find + buy my house
write professionally
expose my photographs
practice a new sport (such as horseback riding)
start playing the guitar again
find inner peace
reach the "date" that allows me to live as a couple
further myself professionally (workshops/courses/lectures)
lose weight
develop my own fashion sense
feel beautiful at all times
...
When I am 24, I will...
hace written this post twice already, but its disappearing... will have it online tom!
60th post: deception
Devastated and deceived... those are the only words that come to mind when I relive the bus bombings that occured yesterday. Ain Alak is only 5 minutes away by car from my home. This pleasant and peaceful road, usually witness to the uneventful daily struggle of its citizens is now in the spotlight. It has been stained by blood that all the rain cannot wash away... even the sound of birds has been silenced by the blasts... When the innocent fall, and will rise no more... then, we know that we have reached the point of no return. When innocents are targetted, the same people everyone is pledging to save... you know that we are not in the spring of independance but in the hollow of defeat...self-defeat...
As I write these words, the television is blasting away with the speeches of those bland politicians, all fiered up at the prospect of rallying more supporters, as they mourn each other today and insult one another tomorrow; filling our minds with empty talk and revolutionary songs and promises of better days...
I am sad. The bomb blasts of yesterday echo in my heart, saying it could happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone! The prevailing cycle of death and destruction leaves little room for hope, especially when the violence has evolved and mutated into a deadlier strain, one whose operations now target innocent civilians on their morning ride to work and school.
In many parts of the world, today is an occasion to celebrate the greatest of all emotions, love, but in Lebanon we are mourning death. 60 posts and I am still mourning... Black shrouds my thoughts and emotions and even the brightest red can not lighten the mood...
Sunday...
Winter has descended in all its glory, shrouding us in its foggy coat and leaving traces of snow on the mountain peaks and slopes...
Huddled at home, I contemplate the dreary clouds passing by, as I cling to the warmth emanating from my patchwork socks...
As I tread about, delicious smells migrate towards me from the kitchen, and I look forward to having lunch with my family, characteristic of Sundays spent at home...
