hopeful beirut

The Change

Well, its hard to believe that this inferno is going to end as abruptly as it began. When I woke up today, the humming of the birds in the distance was the same as yesterday. The foggy sky was still the same.

But I, I am not the same.

I have changed. You see, war used to be something I heard about, a distant truth, a memory in the minds of the older generation, embellished at will, producing local heroes and war machines. It resulted in catastrophic consequences but no one learnt the lesson. It was confined to the recesses of their minds and deleted from their hearts till they could no longer be sympathetic to the plea of other Lebanese who had also suffered. Everyone was busy pointing fingers, not holding hands.

And soon, it was banished from conversation. Too soon its victims were forgotten. Too soon, and yet not soon enough, because all they had done was survive. They had not healed and they had not forgiven. Anger and guilt filled their souls. Living became a challenge, and love was a faraway dream. They only had enough strength left to rebuild, to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives and attempt to reassemble the puzzle.

Now, will I be able to resist succumbing to that nostalgia? Shall I also resign this experience to the past and only reminisce about my part in it? How do I look at the future of my country, of my future in it?

In Lebanon, life is worth living even though it's so damn hard. Basic things, such as getting a job or building a house take forever, and just when we think we are finally standing on our feet a disaster happens: like the bombings last year, like this war... and again we find ourselves on our knees.

When are we going to help one another? When are we going to change our outlook on war in our country? More importantly, where is this change going to take place? If it is going to be a charade played out by politicians for an international audience, then it won't last. But, if this change occurs in our hearts, then we stand a chance at a better future and our dreams will once again come to life.

posted by hopeful beirut @ 20:52